Brandon tells Priscilla coldly, ” I feel bad and I don’t want to be pulled down by any negative emotions, you may think it’s selfish of me and it’s a dick move, but that’s what I want. I don’t want to be linked to your sadness anymore. ” Upon hearing this, Priscilla decided to keep all her ” sad stories ” to herself and stop displaying her sadness for all to see. She pretended to be happy everyday so brandon won’t feel bad and guilty anymore. She feels foolish for protecting brandon despite everything that has happened, but she does it anyways because it was unconditional, that was her love towards him.
Putting a strong front wasn’t easy, it requires a lot of mental energy, on somedays She just wants to shut herself out and indulge in her sadness. It’s the only time where she feels most real towards herself, she didn’t have to put a mask over her face to bluff people, even herself. She was real right there and then. Indulging in sadness makes her feel alive in a weird way. It’s the only time where she puts her feelings as priority and cares more about herself than what other people feels. Her voice echoed in her head, ” I deserves to have an off day from pretending to be someone I’m not. “